A Word from Dr. Gary Smalley
“Ted Cunningham is my friend, pastor, and trusted colleague. He is
passionate, gifted and a quite humorous communicator. I have asked him
to join me at my conferences as we encourage couples together. I
believe that Ted is going to be a leader and much needed voice for
healthy marriages in the next generation.”
SPEAKING TOPICS
1
- Enjoying Life and Marriage
Guess
what? You don’t have to choose between life and a spouse. You can enjoy both,
and at the same time. Enjoying life, marriage and your spouse is possible when
you prioritize the relationships in your home. This topic includes honoring
marriage (Hebrews 13:4), enjoying marriage (Ecclesiastes 9:7-9), and
prioritizing marriage (Genesis 2:24). This topic can be covered in one 35-60
minute session or expanded to 3 sessions. This is the most requested session
filled with nonstop laughter. If you only need one session for couples, this is
it!
(Recommended
for Sunday morning services (all ages), evening events, date nights, one day
events or keynote. It is the first session of Ted’s weekend marriage
conferences)
2
- The Four Spiritual Journeys of the Home
Eradicating
the kid-centered home begins by prioritizing marriage in the home (Genesis
2:24). The greatest gift parents give their children is a mother and father who
love each other deeply, because a great marriage is the single most important
parenting tool. To prioritize the spiritual journeys in the home take personal
responsibility for your journey, serve your spouse’s journey, model Jesus in
your marriage journey for the sake your child’s journey. This topic does not
alienate single parents or blended families, but equips them to discover
balance in the home and prepare their children for future relational success.
This topic can be covered in a 40-75 minute session.
(Recommended
for Sunday morning services (all ages), evening events, one day events or keynote.
It is the first session of Ted’s weekend parenting conferences)
3
- Marriage: Misery or Mystery?
Most
couples make three observations shortly after marriage. One, you discover your
spouse is selfish and weird. Two, your spouse tells you that you are selfish
and weird. Three, you justify the situation with, “Well, at least I am not as
selfish and weird as my spouse!” Marriages are called to model the gospel of
Jesus. He is the profound mystery and secret to marital success and happiness.
“A consumer relationship lasts only as
long as the vendor meets your needs at a cost acceptable to you. A covenant relationship is binding and the good of the
relationship takes precedence over the immediate needs of the individual”
(TKeller). In a covenant relationship you submit to one another out of
reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). That is the profound mystery. This
session addresses the selfishness and woundedness that prevents us from living
out the gospel in our marriage.
(Recommended
for Sunday morning services (all ages), evening outreach events, and date
nights that desire a time of more serious reflection.)
4 - The 6 Levels of
Communication
What
if your goal was to help your spouse win every argument? What would happen if
you made it your priority to understand, instead of being understood? What if
your marriage was marked by genuine listening, understanding and validating?
This session walks each spouse through the six levels of communication (Small
Talk, Facts, Opinions, Feelings, Desires/Needs, and Beliefs) and gets beneath
the surface of issues and into the heart (Proverbs 4:23). This session receives
the most “I wish
we would have heard this years ago” comments
from spouses and couples. This topic can be covered in a 40-75 minute session,
depending on time allotted.
(Recommended
for couples’ events and date nights where a little more content is desired)
5
- From Anger to Intimacy
Unresolved
anger is like drinking poison expecting the other person to get sick. Some
drink it in sips over time. Others gulp it daily by the gallons. In this
session, couples will learn the skills to resolve conflict, hurt and pain. As
spouses discover their “hot buttons,” they will learn tactics to deal with feelings
of anger, frustration and rage. This session also covers the essentials of
forgiveness, keys to nurturing a forgiving spirit, how to craft the perfect
apology, and ways to remove the roadblocks to forgiveness. This topic can be
covered in a 40-75 minute session, depending on time allotted.
(Recommended
for couples’ events and date nights where a little more content is desired)
6
- The Language of Sex
How
often should an evangelical couple have sex? (That is an actual question that
was asked on our website.) How creative can we get? Who sets the boundaries in
the bedroom? The Church has largely gone silent on the issue. Sex is sacred,
yet it must be discussed if it’s going to truly be honored and protected
(Hebrews 13:4). God has given us sex as a gift and it’s one to be thoroughly
treasured, celebrated and enjoyed. In this fun, practical session, we will
answer the question “How can I have the best sex of my life?” We take an honest
look at the differences between men and women and find ways to bridge the gap
that we can create the security and intimacy that great sex needs to flourish.
This topic can be covered in a 40-75 minute session, depending on time
allotted.
(Recommended
for couples’ events and date nights where a little more content is desired.
This is Ted’s most explicit talk and is reserved for adult audiences.)
7
- Face to Face(book):
The Effects of Social Media on Emotional, Relational and Spiritual Health
With
it’s over 750 million active monthly users, Facebook (along with Twitter) has
changed the landscape of human relationships. This one session helps parents,
teens, teachers, pastors and mental health professionals examine both the
positive and negative impact of social media on our families, jobs and church.
More than a dozen practical strategies are presented in this 45-60 minute
session.
(Recommended
for College chapels, Parenting conferences, Women’s/Men’s Ministries, Church
leaders that are committed to reaching the next generation, and leaders of high
school or college students)
8
- Trophy Child: Preparing Children For Something Greater than Themselves
I
am guilty of showering my children with excessive praise, endless organized
activities, too much privilege and not enough responsibility. I am part of a
new generation of parents raising trophy children. Vanity parenting exists when
parents use the attributes and accomplishments of their children to impress others.
Spend a few minutes on Facebook and you will find plenty of examples of this
modern parenting trend. This sessions covers parenting motives and the
necessary strategies for raising children who love Jesus and others, not just
themselves. This topic can be covered in one 35-50 minute session or expanded
to 3 sessions.
(Recommended
for Parenting conferences, Women’s/Men’s Ministries, Church leaders that are committed
to reaching the next generation, and leaders of high school or college
students.)
9
- The Lighter Side of Parenting: Creating a Close-Knit Family
Years
ago, my mentor, Dr. Gary Smalley, took notice of families that displayed
unusually happy interaction among themselves. He intrigue led him to launch a
study. The Smalley Relationship Center individually interviewed thousands of
wives, husbands, and children separately. Each person was asked the same
question: What do you believe is the main reason you are all so close and happy
as a family? Each family member gave some form of this answer: "We do a
lot of things together." Close-knit families maximize togetherness and
minimize times apart. Families that laugh and play together develop a bond that
makes for more success in discipline strategies. This fun session can be
covered in 35-50 minutes.
(Recommended
for Parenting events, Women’s/Men’s ministries, and Weekend services)
10
- The Sex Talk: Teaching Your Children about Sex and Sexuality
Who
taught you about sex? Perhaps it was your parents for a sit down, one-time
“Talk” with minimal details. Was it friends or teachers at school? Maybe you
picked up bits and pieces from television sitcoms of the 80’s. Unfortunately,
the “Talk” doesn’t work anymore. Advances in technology, accessibility of
pornography, and explicit content and innuendo in music, movies and television
have exposed our children to sex like no generation prior. This 35-50 minute
session gives parents the confidence and words necessary to guard the hearts of
their children and prepare them for their future marriage.
(Recommended
for Parenting conferences and Women’s/Men’s Ministries)

EVENT
FORMATS
Option #1 - Love and Laughter Marriage Getaway (5 hour event)
Guaranteed to
make you laugh until your sides split! This is the most requested event and
fits a Friday night (7:00-9:00pm)/Saturday morning (9am-noon) or Saturday only
(8:30am-2:30pm) format.
Topics Include:
• Enjoying Life and Marriage
• The Four Spiritual Journeys of the Home • From Anger to Intimacy
• The 6 Levels of Communication
• The Language of Sex
Option #2 - Love and Laughter Date Night (2-3 hour event)
This is a great option
for the midweek in churches that regularly host couples’ events.
Topics Include:
• Enjoying Life and Marriage
• The 6 Levels of Communication • The Language of Sex
Option
#3 - The
Lighter Side of Parenting Conference (3.5 hour event)
This is a good
follow-up event for a second year. Can be offered any night of the week from
6:30 - 10:00pm. Some churches find it works great on a Saturday morning (9:00am
- 12:30pm).
Topics Include:
• The Lighter Side of
Parenting
• Trophy Child
• The Four Spiritual Journeys of the Home • The Sex Talk
Option
#4 -
Marenting Conference for Couples and Parents (5 hour event)
This event has many
options. Some churches offer the marriage portion on Friday night (7:00-9:00pm)
and the parenting portion on Saturday morning (9:00 - noon).
Topics Include, but
are not limited to:
• Trophy Child
• The Spiritual Journeys of the Home • Enjoying Life and Marriage
• The Sex Talk
• The Language of Sex
"Ted was excellent, knowledgeable, funny and God-centered. The information was very applicable and biblical. Thank you!" Conference Attendee
.